David Frey — Houston, Texas
David Frey
My name is David Frey. I'm 60 years old. I live in Houston, Texas. I suffer from Polycystic Kidney Disease and had to have a transplant at age 49. It's a highly genetic disease. My mother and two older brothers died of the same disease. They were not fortunate enough to receive a kidney transplant. I have one other brother who also received a kidney transplant and he is alive today.
I was fortunate enough to find a living donor angel, Erin Neth, who donated one of her kidneys to me. I'm so lucky I never had to live on a kidney dialysis machine. However, I did have a brother who lived on a kidney dialysis machine — it severely restricted where he could go and what he could do. He spent 3 days a week sitting on a dialysis machine for 4 to 5 hours. After being on that machine, he was extremely exhausted and always low on energy. He rarely had enough energy to do any type of physical activity.
After I received a kidney transplant, I started a very strict health regimen of eating whole foods and lifting weights on a daily basis. I felt healthy, strong, and invigorated.
To be honest, there are only two emotional and psychological elements that I've had to deal with after my kidney transplant. The first one is making sure that I respect my donor by living an ultra-healthy life. One of my greatest nightmares would be having my transplanted kidney go into rejection because of unhealthy choices.
The second one is to ensure that I live my life in a way that blesses the lives of others so that my donor's sacrifice is honored. I want to make sure her sacrifice for me was worth it. This is ever present on my mind.
Unlike others, I did not have to go through a long process to find my donor. Through a series of many miracles, my donor showed up. At that time, she was the mother of four very young children and the wife of a friend of mine.
My wife was the first person to test for me and she was not a match. The second person who tested had a medical issue discovered in the testing process. The third person who tested actually found a tumor on her kidney through the testing process — it was a miracle! The next week she had it removed. It was one of those tumors that you cannot feel until it becomes lethal. She was blessed for volunteering; it saved her life. The fourth person who tested was my donor.
My angel donor was the wife of my good friend. We have continued our close relationship over the years. I am forever grateful for her. It was because of her sacrifice that I was able to watch my kids grow up and graduate from high school and become adults.
As you know, kidneys are what filter the impurities out of your body. Every time you urinate you know that your kidneys are functioning properly. I know this sounds unusual, but when I use the restroom, it reminds me of how grateful I am for my angel donor.
Insight #1 — I've found over the years that adversity can either set you back or propel you forward, depending on your mindset. I'm grateful for the struggles with my health that I've experienced, because it has increased my faith in God, brought me closer to my wife and family, and made me emotionally stronger as a person.
Insight #2 — The stories of our mind become the stories of our life. The story we tell ourselves about our struggles will determine how well we will cope or thrive with our issues. The good news is that you get to choose the story you tell yourself. One of the most powerful ways to re-frame your thinking is to tell yourself that this challenge is happening for me instead of to me. When you tell yourself this, it forces your mind to look for the positive things to be grateful for.
Insight #3 — I am a religious person and so I created a little saying that helped give me strength: "I hand this over to God." In my mind, I would picture myself handing this difficulty over to a wonderful, loving being. It took a lot of weight and worry off of me. It helped me to be at peace and feel okay with whatever happened. Having faith in God can really help when times are tough.
I was fortunate to have a lot of support from my family, friends, doctors, nurses, and others. My wife has been by my side every step of the way — she was the first one to test to donate her kidney to me. She's been there through all my ups and downs. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have her and my children in my life.
As I mentioned previously, I wanted to make sure that I honored my donor by being as healthy as I could be. I stopped drinking sodas. I drink only water. I started eating only whole foods with single ingredients. And I started lifting weights 6 days a week.
I feel like I became more healthy after my kidney transplant than at any other time in my life. I felt like I owed that to my angel donor for the great sacrifice that she made for me — but I also did it for myself, just to feel more healthy, strong, and vigorous.
Advice #1 — A big reason I had a relatively simple path to a live donor transplant was because I have a lot of friends. Most of my friends I've met through my church — the altruistic type who would sacrifice for another person. Start creating a following on social media. Join a healthy, well-balanced church of your religious preference and start making a lot of friends there. Try to expand your network of people that know you, like you, and trust you. Whenever anyone says they would be willing to test for you in the future, write down their name and email address.
Advice #2 — If you are considering donating your kidney to someone, God bless you. You are an angel. You will be doing something for somebody that they could never do for themselves. Donating a kidney is a very safe procedure that happens thousands of times with no negative instances. You literally become their life savior. It is the ultimate act of humility and love.